The Medical Futurist | May 21, 2019
A blockchain toothbrush could help you collect love tooth coins, a smart condom could measure your performance in the bedroom, a cooperative app could log your poop, and an electric shock alarm clock could make you jump out of bed (happy?) every day. As awkward as it looks, some digital health ideas really went off the charts. Let’s explore a little bit the universe of the weirdest digital health tech out there. Believe us, it’s worth the read.
A bit awkward here and there
With the flood of digital health technologies, there’s literally an app or a digital device for everything. The question is whether there should be. Do we need to keep track of even the most intimate details of our health by almighty sensors? We definitely see that there are some boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed here.
It could already be awkward if you use a teledermatology app or a symptom checker and the program or, in case of telehealth services, the doctor on the other end of the phone asks you to take a photo of your armpit or your throat. One of our followers said the doctor even had him use the phone’s camera flashlight to get a better view. But what if companies go even further than that and apply digital technology to sensitive and intimate areas where those have nothing to do? Or even if there’s a medically established reason, the result feels awkward? For example, once Durex licensed Azumio’s smartphone HeartRate algorithm to measure excitement. That doesn’t feel necessary or right. But let’s see all the other awkward, crazy, and weird digital health tech out there.
1) Poo Trackers
There’s a surprising amount of health apps around poo, although on second thought it’s not even that shocking. When a startup introduced a smart litterbox for cats at CES 2019, and an American company developed the Kohler Numi 2.0 Intelligent Toilet if you have a spare 8,000 dollars, why wouldn’t there be a bunch of health apps analyzing the hell out of your stool?
The Poo Diary, the Poo Log, the GI Buddy or GI Monitor are all for logging poop to track intestinal health. While it might be super weird to take photos of your daily produce or set reminders for going to the toilet, there are some conditions where that might be helpful. Following your intestinal movements and the changes in your stool closely set you on the track towards health. So, even if it sounds weird, having a poo tracker app could actually be helpful. What we really didn’t expect is that someone would develop an app for counting how much money you could have made while being on the throne. Poop Salary. Yes, you read that right.
2) Smart condoms anyone?
Welcome to the future of technology in the bedroom – that’s the promise of British Condoms who announced two years ago that they will market the i.Con Smart Condom soon. Well, that hasn’t happened yet we are wondering why. Maybe the tendencies of tech-savvy young people having less sex than previous generations have something to do with it?
Anyhow, the smart condom – what’s actually a ring fitting over “dumb” condoms promises to track exercise, duration, posture, calories burnt, and detect chlamydia and syphilis. What else would we wish for in the bedroom? Well, perhaps teledildonics or automated sex toys? Don’t worry at all, these are coming your way, too!
3) Urinary 2.0 and the ‘hand job machine’
We are telling you, weird things are out there. A Spanish team prototyped a high-tech urinal three years ago that could wash and dry the penis after it’s been “used” in a toilet. According to the ideas, the bathroom gadget ‘Urinary 2.0’ would use programmed sensors which would activate its cleaning mechanism when the user has finished urinating – and would get straight to work making them clean and dry before they fasten up.
From that concept, it’s only a small leap to the device that appeared in some Chinese hospitals in 2012. According to an article in the Daily Mail, some medical facilities introduced a device which can extract semen for donors automatically. The machine can be adjusted to the height of the user, it has a massage pipe and its small screen can play films to get anyone in the mood. Dubbed the ‘hand job machine’ by some, this is definitely one of the most bizarre medical devices available. We agree.
4) Electric shock wearable and underwear
What else to look for? The wearable called Pavlok promises to break bad habits and shock you into living up to your own expectations. The company’s latest improvement is Shock Clock 2, which guarantees you to jump out of bed every morning. It automatically tracks sleep, wakes you up and keeps you alert – like a dreaded commander in the army. The worst or best part? It doesn’t allow hitting the snooze button on your phone at all.
You would never guess the other way to use the terribly sounding “shock therapy”. Okay, we might have given you a hint in the title. Yes, it’s underwear. According to an article published in 2012 by CBS News, a research team at Alberta Innovates Health Solutions developed underwear that intentionally shocks the wearer – to prevent bedsores. When someone is bedridden for a long time, bedsores can cause a lot of pain and can easily get infected. As a solution, the electric undies, which look like cycling shorts, deliver a low-level electric shock every ten minutes. The electric current stimulates blood flow in the area, reducing the risk of bedsores. While we know it’s a noble cause, somehow it still seems weird.
5) Blockchain toothbrush and love teeth coins
From all the bathroom items that could go wrong, the universe set very strange paths to our favorite toothbrush. Although the hairbrush also got a little weird touch through L’Oreal and Withings two years ago, for example, it could tell you whether you’re brushing your hair too hard and causing irreparable damage, that’s nothing compared to the blockchain toothbrush.
The device developed by a Chinese company, 32Teeth, aims to make your teeth really clean by applying not only blockchain technology, but also facial recognition, sensors, and big data. The toothbrush app offers precise identification of 16 tooth surface cleanliness levels, analyzes users’ brushing activity data, and offers a powerful intelligent reminder. It even has an augmented reality function which gives you an inside look (literally) into how you brush your teeth. Moreover, brushing your teeth regularly rewards you with AYA tokens (爱牙币, literally “love teeth coins”) which can be exchanged for more toothbrushes, toothpaste, and dental hygiene services.